Sometimes you want a Canon copier.
Other times you want a Deuterocanon copier.
The standard Deuterocanon copier is based on the Book of Tobit. It works as follows.
Put the paper in the slot marked Tobit.
Seven printer cartridges explode. Finally, one survives long enough to start copying—but the printer jams!
The user wails, asking for death.
The user does not die and so Deuterocanon faces no liability. Instead, the Archangel Raphael shows up. He teaches a mysterious nearby bishounen to exorcise the copier.
It’s an affordable business solution based on sound, deuterocanonical, Biblical principles.