I need one more day.

Very sorry! Maybe you’ll enjoy the recent posts saved on merin.hitherby.com if you haven’t seen them, though. ^_^

Or the phrase “It’s like quantum physics, only evil. The Thing in the box might be dead and it might be alive, but either way it’s going to sit on your chest in the middle of the night and steal your heart.”

Just like David Hasselhoff did, all those years ago.

He had claws, you know, and teeth. They never showed them on Knight Rider, but they were there. Sometimes when Alan Smithee failed to do his bidding, David Hasselhoff would be all ‘snatch! Got your heart.’

And Alan Smithee would die, and be reborn, like he does, and all the while he’d be laughing, because, really, you can’t help loving that man.

Jesus also died and was reborn and couldn’t help loving David Hasselhoff (John 13:35, 14:21), but for some reason he never showed up on Baywatch. It’s really unfortunate, because every lifeguard show needs someone who can walk on water and make wine any time you want it. I mean, it wouldn’t have to be the actual Jesus; a stunt double with the same superpowers but less theological import would be just fine.

And you’d have all these cases where someone would be like, “At last! Jesus has entered my heart!”

And David Hasselhoff would be all snicker-snack and “IT’S MY HEART NOW!”

“Curses,” they would say, as they crumple. “Now where will I keep Jesus?”

See, my standards have risen since the very first entries, both for quality and for care in the use of religious icons (e.g. Jesus, Baywatch, Alan Smithee), so this isn’t a real entry. ^_^


14 thoughts on “(Update)

  1. And David Hasselhoff would be all snicker-snack and “IT’S MY HEART NOW!”

    Just on the basis of this statement alone, it deserves to be counted among the real entries.

    What an absolutely frabjous image. :wink:

  2. It may not be a real image, but it still breaks my brain.

    Surfer dude lifeguard Jesus.

    I… There’s something so cute about that image.

    “He dived for your sins.”

  3. I’m not sure when you posted it earlier (I’ve been arguing with myself again and easily could have missed it), but I just sent $10.04.

    Hope that helps! You, William James (the psychologist) and Thich Nich Hanh (Buddhist) have been the writers that have helped me most this year. Thank you for writing, even when I can’t follow where you go.


  4. Your stories are great, the best on the web that I know of, but we can wait until you are better. Thanks for writing.

  5. Seconded! Your health comes first. Take care. We’ll practice patient stoicism.

    (You liked my story! *honored and bright red in the face*)

  6. Get well soon! Speaking as someone who is also sick (only bad allergies, really …) and a writer but can’t write (accute tendonitis) I know what it’s like and I hope things improve.

  7. With reference to the recent quote on Merin, for the record, I (who post on rpg.net as Random Nerd) am merely engaged to the esteemed Beth, not yet married to her.

  8. I should add my get-well wishes to the pile cast upon you, and this seems as good a time as any. You have my best wishes for your recovery, and are in what passes for my prayers.

  9. can’t eveb ediy old stuff stomach flu and fever

    Ouch. Now that’s pretty sick.
    You, naturally, have my sympathies and best wishes for your recovery.

    Hm. Every time I rewrite that it sounds like an empty platitude. I mean it. I hope you feel better. It sucks that “hope” is all that is in my power to do.

  10. *anxiously brings virtual applesauce and chicken soup with rice and dry toast and peppermint tea and damp cool cloths for forehead and magic medicine bottle nicked off Mary Poppins out of which pours whatever you like best to drink*

    It is worrisome when you are sick. :(

  11. Virtual hug!

    (Because hugs are comforting, and no one will hug you physically when you are sick. Especially if you have leprosy. No one ever hugs you when you have leprosy. Well, except other lepers.

    (Please don’t get leprosy, Rebecca!)

    (EDIT: I am very glad to see that Rebecca is well again, or at least well enough to post and hopefully completely well and leprosy-free.)

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